She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
