He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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