do herpes really smell.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
