Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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