the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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