just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
