now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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