i don't like sucking hair
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
