please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
