it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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