my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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