I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
