Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
