the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
