im six kinds of drunk right now
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
