Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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