I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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