my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
