Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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