So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize