I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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