Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
