I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
