I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
