he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize