the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize