to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
