singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is the high leading the old right now
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
