after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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