he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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