I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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