It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
