oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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