when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
