don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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