i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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