Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My vagina just recognized that song.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
