My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
