real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
