I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I need to stop coming to work sober
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
