what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
