u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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