I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
