Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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