I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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