The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
