I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
