Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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