She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
