he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
