she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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