I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
