aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
