Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
