Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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