Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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