we should wear snuggies to the strip club
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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